May Also Explore Typical Prince Georges Community

May Also Explore Typical Prince Georges Community

May Also Explore Typical Prince Georges Community

Setting the Scene:

Chosen Lot for Life: Your 12-Year Old Stepdaughter Tells You That You Are Not Her Real Father and Can’t Tell Her What to Do

Dear Dad,

Hello, I hope you are doing well. As you know, I have been a stepfather to my 12 years old daughter. I have afforded her the love, care, and protection that a father should provide. However, it is a matter of concern that she recently disrespected me by stating that I am not her real father, and I do not have any right to tell her what to do. It all started when I prevented her from hanging with a group of girls that I firmly believe would influence her negatively. On Saturday, the 5th of September, she had planned to do some activities with this group. As a caring parent, I did not have any issue with her hanging out with her friends, but on Friday the 4th of September, I learned from another parent that this group was involved in bullying. When I tried to raise the issue with my stepdaughter, all hell broke loose. It hurts me to see her react this way, yet I only have her best interests at heart. I desire to see her grow into a person who upholds discipline and advocates for a sane moral fabric in society.

Given the nature of our compromised relationship, I have to consider some issues. The first thing I will look at keenly is her anger management. By saying such words, she indicated that she was short-tempered. Another issue I would like to raise is my relationship with her. I had thought we had a cordial and normal relationship, but her utterances revealed otherwise. This brings out another issue in my parental role since I have to ask myself if I communicate with her correctly. I also have to consider that I have to bond and connect with her to cultivate friendship, honesty, and trust.

Nonetheless, to ensure that a repeat of the same is not witnessed, I have to develop an effective action plan. Therefore, the first thing I will do is employ an effective communication strategy. Her utterances, though hurtful, indicated that she wants to show loyalty to her mother; thus, she feels conflicted when I question her about her behavior. Communicating with her will entail the efforts I have made to build a relationship with her. Also, it will involve her feelings and how to react when faced with a situation. Another strategy that I intend to use is to set boundaries with her. I will have to insist that respect is paramount, although I will have to establish ground expectations with her mom. Even in the face of such disrespect, I will not show any form of kindness since she may use it as a weakness.

For this reason, boundaries are inevitable. Involved parenting will also be part of the strategy I intend to use. I will have to raise the issue with her mom. Her erratic behavior is placing the harmony of the house at stake. My presence in the house assumes a father figure’s role, and my co-parenting efforts cannot be sidelined. Nonetheless, I will positively talk with her mom since the main goal is to make her comfortable and happy.

Your son

INSTRUCTOR’S COMMENTS on the above chosen Lot of Life are :

This is a solid start. Your letter was detailed and the storyline was believable. However, I encourage you to research connection-based discipline for Part II. Showing kindness is not necessarily a weakness; children like adults tend to accept advice from those who they are closely bonded to and respect.

One other suggestion may be to explore the role of clinicians who can provide expert advice. Looking at Part II: Doing the Research, you may also explore typical adolescent development and see whether some of these issues you are having with your stepdaughter are typical. Finally, it does not hurt to present some statistics about the prevalence of blended families in the US and the most challenging issues they face (with solutions). Good luck!